2002-07-30
and again.........
scenario in the morning....busy and busy and busy..first the private institution billing with non stop email as reminder of the presentation and so. Upon 11 am still at the office setting up the notebook and so. and managed to reach that IXX Plaza around noon. Quick presentation and wrapped up session with finalisation on role of everyone
scenario in noon till 345pm...sprint the reckless jam and hazardous traffic towards Bandar Utama, need to be exactly at 2 for the presentation. Reached the front reception exactly 0157pm. 3 minutes left to plug 2 notebook on the projector. 0200 presentation embarked and lasted for 1 and 1/2 hour. Now we just need to keep our finger cross.
scenario from 345 till 615pm...sent one of the collegue to IXX Plaza. Make a u turn heading the hazadous traffic to Sunway. Managed to catch up Zohor prayer and had a fast bite on Chicken McNugget at McD. Reached Cyberjaya around 0500pm. Get back to the private institution billing. Clearing emails from audit and finance. Asar prayer.
scenario from 615 till 0800pm...sprint to GSM. No parking. Damn it. Had to go like 3 round to get a park there. By the time entering the class, just nice for a nice tea break. Had a quick tea, Maghrib and quick revise. Get done with EOQ, Decision utility, maximin, exponential smooothing and everything perfect. I am ready
Scenario 0800-1100pm...question 1-pass, question 2-stupidfuckinfreakinidunnowhat, question 3- 50/50 chance, question 4- i dunno nuthingabouit this...damn damn damn....blackout, dizzy, tired....fainted....screwed up!!!!
1100pm onwards..driving at 60km/h from Serdang to Kinrara reason being afraid of losing control due to 2nd failure of the mid term exam. Thinking of how much had been spent on investing for this graduate school. Thinking of how the parents must be upset. Call them, they laugh saying..nah..do not worry..its over..try again next time and bla bla bla...great!! that does not help...and tears keep on flowing...cars at the back beaming light, forcing me to sprint, but i failed to notice the signal and just staying with 60km/h till i reached my home.
Entering the house, placed back all the book and notes carefully with a determination, I will strive harder and ensure e/thing will be great for the final in another month. I will take it this failure as a reminder from God. As a lesson for whatever I have now is not yet enuff for my war. But yes, being an emotional phobic and freak, i still crying when my fiance console me. I could not laugh even, when he told that my mother-to-be bought me a Prada and Gucci bag during her trip to XXXXX last week. He just let me crying as usual and say, let it out e/thing. U will be relieved. Yeah...I am.
And at the moment, I can say, I managed to catch my sleep at 2 am again last nite, after a long winding crying, showering and so. The tag for today, get ur work done, and go back early. Sleep early. BY 11 tonite Im going to bed. Tomorrow I might be seeking for a leave. Indulge myself. And ready for the last paper this mis term.
I am not that sure, why the professors are all torchuring us with this sort of hard question. Most of the students last night were so depressed which count me in as well..
Damn it. Sometimes I wonder..will i survive for the next 4 semester????
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kaezrin at 9:37 a.m.